- chrisworth.com - chris worth's site -

02jan2004: 2004 kicks off, and things are already happening. Now swimming's become a daily routine, my body's hardening into a Schwarzenegger-like human sculpture (OK, OK, artistic license) and the toxins of indolence are departing my flesh. A business project is nearing launch, and profit prospects are strong. I also found my purpose (not telling anyone what it is, though) as Big Ben struck midnight, on a dark night filled with fireworks over the Thames. For me, 2004 starts with optimism.

And it looks like other people are feeling it too. The new Conservative Party leader, Michael Howard, is running a two-page broadsheet ad stating his beliefs. So far, so good. (The complete list of beliefs is here, while another British blogger has written his own critique. ) (Here's what it looked like on the page.) Trouble is, the art director and copywriter need the boot: the ad's layout is terrible. Here's a quick list of what I see wrong in the first ten seconds looking at it:

- Margin balance is poor, almost nonexistent; the framing's abysmal.
- The font is stentorian and uppercase; unfriendly and hard to read.
- The headline uses two font sizes, without two thoughts or even two clauses within it to justify the treatment. It's obvious the authors wanted too many words in it.
- The headline isn't even a headline. It does nothing to introduce the ad's theme or purpose, leaving the text unled and rudderless.
- Many of the 'believe' and 'don't believe' statements are overly verbose.
- There's no consistency of length between items, making it look badly-thought-out.
- There's no clear separation of 'believe/don't's - why didn't they do a page of do, a page of don't?

And the blame doesn't end with the art director. It's also badly written. There's no equivalence of structure between the paragraphs; some are straightforward assertions, others are meandering flights of fancy, some are anecdotes. Some - including the best-written, like 'That the people should be big. That the State should be small.' - seem like summaries. The order of statements also seems odd; there's no connection from one paragraph to the next, removing any story appeal that might have been built.

With nothing else to do this afternoon, I decided to do a quick rewrite. (It's in PDF too.)

I agree with Howard's basic principles, and perhaps under Howard 'Bliar' will yet be cast out of office. But the poor layout makes this piece of communication far too easy to forget - and the lack of effort put into its detail creates the impression there's no real feeling behind the words. 'Echoing the American Declaration of Independence?' Nope - there's just no poetry there.